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I'm doing what's best for me

Don’t feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Even if you love them, even if you had wonderful times with them in the past, you have to do what’s right for yourself today. Remember, even though you might be the person ending the relationship, you’re not the reason this has to happen. They brought it onto themselves. It’s their fault. Not yours. You have to do what is best for yourself. You have to put yourself first, even when it hurts.   Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to make decisions that benefit you, even if they upset the people around you. It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands or respects your decision. All that matters is that you care about yourself enough to do what is best for yourself. You should never sacrifice your mental health for anyone else. After all, if they really cared about you, they would encourage you to do whatever you need ...

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A LITTLE ABOUT ME


Tell me a little about yourself” is one of the most common ways for an interviewer to kick off an interview. It breaks the ice and gets the conversation going. But don’t be lulled into thinking it’s just a time for pleasant chit-chat — the “official” interview has most definitely already begun. Most interviewers make their decision about the candidate within the first five minutes of the interview, so how you start things off matters a lot. Giving a confident, effective answer to this frequent first question will set the tone for the rest of the interview.

But the open-endedness of the query causes many candidates to stumble right out the gate. How far should they go back in their work history? Should they talk about their education? Should they share a chronological timeline of all their previous jobs, or just highlights from their most recent one? In that moment of confusion and hesitation, what comes out of the candidate’s mouth is often a whole lot of hemming and hawing.

So let’s first talk about the most common variations of these undesirable responses, and then discuss how to craft a more effective answer.



Potential employers sort through hundreds of resumes and may interview a dozen candidates. After awhile, all those guys in suits and gals in pencil skirts turn into one big blur of resume bullet points, and the hiring manager will start categorizing folks and lumping them together. Your job is thus to break from the pack right from the get-go — as soon as they say: “So tell me a little about yourself.”

Here’s how:

Keep your response short. Your answer should last no longer than about a minute. Any longer and the interviewer will start to lose interest. Don’t repeat yourself. Don’t ramble.

Realize that you don’t have to say everything you want the interviewer to know about you in this statement; rather, the goal should be to say things that invite follow-up questions in areas that will allow you to elaborate on your strengths.

Start with a brief bio of your work history. Succinctly summarize the highlights of your resume.

  • “I started my first business when I was 19, I’m a graduate of the University of Oklahoma’s College of Business, and I’ve been the sales manager for X Company for the last five years.”

Give a concrete example about the value you could bring to the employer. What unique skills and experiences do you have that set you apart from other candidates? How do your own goals align with those of the potential employer? How are you going to bring value to the company and help them reach their objectives?

A hiring manager is most interested in what you’re going to bring to the company’s table. You should have already spent some time brainstorming the needs of the potential employer and how/where they align with your own strengths (here’s exactly how to do this). You’ll want to weave these “matches” into your response by offering a concrete example of a time you used your skills to solve a problem, save money, or improve quality — one that directly overlaps with the company’s objectives.

  • “At Company X, I helped introduce three new hit products to their line-up and increased sales 5% each year I was there. I feel confident I can do the same for your company.”

Mention things that point to positive underlying qualities. You don’t want to brag in your response, but you do want to seem valuable and confident. One way to walk this line is to mention things that point to positive underlying qualities without spelling them out explicitly. For example:

  • “I graduated college in three years.” (points to work ethic)
  • “I was the youngest person ever to be made sales manager.” (points to beyond-your-years competency)

Mention anything you have in common with the interviewer. If you’re able to research the person who’ll be interviewing you beforehand, or notice something in their office you have in common, mention it in your response. Maybe they went to the same college, belonged to the same fraternity, or once worked for the same company as you. Or let’s say you know they’re originally from Texas and so are you. While you wouldn’t normally mention the fact you grew up in Texas in your response, you would want to with that interviewer. People like people who are like themselves.

Keep it all relevant. Relevancy is the byword of a good response. Just because you’re proud of something, doesn’t mean it’s relevant to the company you’re interviewing with.

Putting It All Together

The basic principle of a good “Tell me a little about yourself” response is to cover as much territory as you can in as small a space as possible; you don’t know what’s going to pique the interviewer’s interest, so you want to include as many things as possible that might get the conversation going, with a focus on things that show your strengths, and invite follow-up questions that allow you to elaborate on them. It’s basically a little elevator pitch, where what you’re pitching is yourself.

Here’s an example of how all the above points could come together to form a compelling and effective response to a hiring manager who’s from Texas and is looking for an ambitious self-starter to improve his company’s sales:

“I grew up in Texas and then crossed the border to attend the University of Tulsa for my undergrad. I earned my degree in accounting in three years, and also started my own business my sophomore year, which I was able to sell after I graduated. I got my MBA from the University of Oklahoma’s business college, and interned with Y Company during that time. I’ve spent the last five years working for X Company, where I was the youngest person ever to be made sales manager. I helped introduce three new hit products to their line-up and have increased sales 5% each year I’ve been there. I feel confident I can do the same for your company.”

It’s succinct, but covers a lot of ground. Think of all the promising follow-up questions the interviewer can now ask:

  • Oh you’re from Texas? What part?
  • What kind of business did you start in college?
  • How did you graduate from college in 3 years?
  • Why did Company Y decide to make you manager at such a young age?
  • What new products did you introduce at Company Y?
  • How have you been able to improve their sales 5% each year?

It pays to always know what you’re going to say before the interview, rehearsing it to yourself a few times over. With a little effort, you can really get the interview off on the right foot.









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