Don’t feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Even if you love them, even if you had wonderful times with them in the past, you have to do what’s right for yourself today. Remember, even though you might be the person ending the relationship, you’re not the reason this has to happen. They brought it onto themselves. It’s their fault. Not yours. You have to do what is best for yourself. You have to put yourself first, even when it hurts. Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to make decisions that benefit you, even if they upset the people around you. It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands or respects your decision. All that matters is that you care about yourself enough to do what is best for yourself. You should never sacrifice your mental health for anyone else. After all, if they really cared about you, they would encourage you to do whatever you need ...
At some point in our life comes a rather difficult state of not knowing where we are headed in life. Pressure gets harder and harder to bear as we see a lot of people our age who seem to have already figured most of their shit and gotten all their ducks in a row while we can’t seem to find our own.
Every year we plan tons of things out in hopes that by the end of that year, we’ve at least progressed and have something to be actually proud of. We long for a lot of achievements, we want to be able to somehow tell people how we’ve figured some shit out. And man, is it such a burden most times — pressuring your way to that kind of fulfillment, trying to get ahead of people who may or may not even be trying to compete with anyone else, trying to find proof you’re well-established as a person, trying to make meaning in this life. And two months into that year you’re already exhausted — and highly frustrated — because the things you’ve planned out didn’t work quite well, you’re way behind your target, and the next thing you know you’ve given up, feeling like you’ve failed yet again, all bitter about this life, declaring the year to be
But do you wanna know a little secret? It’s not just you. That person you were so jealous of for already having her own place or the other you were secretly hating because she keeps getting promoted at work, believe it or not, have their own issues to face. They, too, keep an eye on other people and they, too, feel a little too stagnant and clueless about where their life is headed.
The truth is, life isn’t meant to be figured out. It is meant to be lived. We are meant to spend that 24 hours we the privilege of spending the way we think we should, not to get ahead of everyone because nobody can actually ever be ahead of anyone.
We live, and along the way we get to somehow figure some things bit by bit. We cannot expect ourselves to know every little thing about how we should be living our lives because, honestly, as we move forward, there will always be things we won’t see coming — and that’s what makes life so fascinating, so beautiful.
So in 2019, I hope you finally drop the idea that you have to figure your life out. I hope you ditch that plan of trying to prove something to anyone, because there’s really no one to prove yourself to but yourself.
I hope you start trying to do those things you’ve always wanted to try but never had the courage to do so because you think it’ll just throw you off from your game plan.
I hope you find time to take a break, to breathe, and to use all your days off for yourself. I hope on your days off you get to do nothing but be in your pajamas all day, sipping hot tea, munching your favorite chips, reading your favorite book, or watching your favorite shows.
I hope you dance more on the streets when you’ve had a little too much to drink and let loose and be as free as you possibly can.
I hope you stop thinking about what other people might be thinking when you start singing along a little too loudly to your favorite songs blasting on your headphones on your way to work.
I hope you stop focusing too much on your to-do lists and accept that sometimes things do not go as planned. I hope you start seeing how beautiful it is to be spontaneous. I hope you allow yourself to discover a lot more from the things you didn’t expect.
I hope you get to find the strength to take a break from social media, even for a bit, or maybe delete it altogether just so you can appreciate all the beautiful views you’ve always missed because your eyes were stuck on a screen.
I hope you get to travel to places. It doesn’t have to be out of the country. I hope there are weekends where you get to pack your bags and go backpacking to towns or cities you’ve never seen in your country just yet. And I hope on those short trips you get to meet more people, understand more cultures, and take more pictures, not to brag to the rest of the world but to keep for yourself so you’ll have something to smile about when you’re all worked out and exhausted.
I hope you take more pictures for yourself and not for anyone else.
I hope you see independence as a beautiful thing, not a curse nor a tough phase. I hope you stop fixating on finding the right person for you and start seeing you are the right person for you.
I hope this year you finally understand that there’s nothing much to be figured out in life, but there’s a lot of ways to actually live it
I hope you realize that life shouldn’t be figured out before it’s lived. Rather, life should be lived and we figure things out while we’re at it.
In 2023, I hope you live it because damn it, how beautiful must that be.
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