Journey to Find Happiness

  At some point in our life comes a rather difficult state of not knowing where we are headed in life. Pressure gets harder and harder to bear as we see a lot of people our age who seem to have already figured most of their shit and gotten all their ducks in a row while we can’t seem to find our own. Every year we plan tons of things out in hopes that by the end of that year, we’ve at least progressed and have something to be actually proud of. We long for a lot of achievements, we want to be able to somehow tell people how we’ve figured some shit out. And man, is it such a burden most times — pressuring your way to that kind of fulfillment, trying to get ahead of people who may or may not even be trying to compete with anyone else, trying to find proof you’re well-established as a person, trying to make meaning in this life. And two months into that year you’re already exhausted — and highly frustrated — because the things you’ve planned out didn’t work quite well, you’re way behi...

In 2019, I’m putting all my faith in God. I’m going to let him guide me without trying to interfere with his plans. I’m not going to keep knocking on the doors he decided to close. I’m not going to rush things anymore because I’ve learned to trust his timing. No matter how much I want things, his timing will always bring the best results. His timing will always make the imperfect situations perfect. In 2019, I’m following his signs. Without trying to change the direction. Without trying to manipulate what these signs mean.  Without trying to follow my own flawed sense of direction. I’m going to truly listen to his answers even if they’re not what I want to hear. I’m going to run to him when I feel lost. In 2019, I’ll talk to him about my problems. I won’t talk to other people, I won’t keep getting advice from people who are just as confused and lost as I am. I’ll talk to him because he’s the only one who can fix them. He’s the only one who has a real solution. He’s the only one w...

Time is a funny thing. It has this way of wearing down memories until they are like the soft edges of an old photograph — I can still see us on that cloudy gray morning, laughing at nothing at all, but the image no longer cuts into me the way it once did. I remember the day you left, the apology in the way you brushed my hand and a goodbye in the look in your eyes. But I also I remember the day we met. Our first kiss. I remember summer nights of driving aimlessly down empty roads, and the stars that shone so far above us.  I remember days of crisp autumn air and the letters you wrote me in handwriting that was as crooked as your smile. I remember staying up far too late talking to you, and I would whisper into the phone from beneath my bed covers like the teenager I was. It’s easy, you know, to write this off as some teenage love story that doesn’t have a happy ending. After all, not many love stories do. But you used to say my name like it was something holy, and I fell for you ...

Feeling blue doesn’t ever stop for me. It’s a kind of constant that’s glue to my bones and has stayed around long enough that I know how to manage it when depression makes my body and mind too stiff to care. The downside of “managing it” is that I usually don’t know I’m deep in a depressive episode until my dark thoughts start to surface and repeat like a mantra. If I’m lucky, I’ll have some clues — like lack of interest in being with friends — but every now and then depression hits fast, like being thrown face-forward into a brick wall. Like menstruation, my depression (fortunately?) comes in fairly predictable cycles.  The general gist is like this: About every two months, my brain entertains the worst of my self-esteem and existence for about one to two weeks, usually closer to one. The length really depends on when I recognize it’s happening. But for the longest time, I was pretty convinced that if I wasn’t feeling utterly sad or hopeless, then it wasn’t an episode. The pr...

Tell me a little about yourself” is one of the most common ways for an interviewer to kick off an interview. It breaks the ice and gets the conversation going. But don’t be lulled into thinking it’s just a time for pleasant chit-chat — the “official” interview has most definitely already begun. Most interviewers make their decision about the candidate within the first five minutes of the interview, so how you start things off matters a lot. Giving a confident, effective answer to this frequent first question will set the tone for the rest of the interview. But the open-endedness of the query causes many candidates to stumble right out the gate. How far should they go back in their work history? Should they talk about their education? Should they share a chronological timeline of all their previous jobs, or just highlights from their most recent one? In that moment of confusion and hesitation, what comes out of the candidate’s mouth is often a whole lot of hemming and hawing. S...

We live in a society where a high value is placed on being positive. Yet sometimes this simply isn't possible, and people find themselves facing temporary or long-term sadness. Just telling yourself to "be positive" isn't much help, because moods can have a life of their own. One of the pitfalls of positivity is that people tend to fantasize about a perfect life instead of realistically facing the fact that no life is perfect. Everyone's existence contains challenges, disappointments, frustration and failed expectations. Further, what usually happens is that most of us become passive.  We distract ourselves by watching more television or spending more hours on the computer. We wait for sadness to pass and we behave as if nothing bad is going on. Keeping up a good front is important in most people's lives, yet behind the facade can lurk a good deal of fear. Instead of positivity, what's needed is reality. Being realistic means that you drop the main defense...